10 Disney characters turned into killing machines

For as long as there have been video games there have been Disney-licensed video games. Sure, we could take a look at the recent Kingdom Hearts series and find all sorts of Disney heros/heroines kicking various amounts of ass. But it would be a lot more fun to go back to a time when Disney clearly did not give a shit about how their licenses were handled and the likes of Capcom and Virgin Interactive weren’t afraid to get their hands—or rather, the hands and paws of beloved 90’s cartoon icons—dirty. The following games may look innocent, but rest assured their body counts rival those of any action movie of the same era.

10. Aladdin

He’s about to show you a whole new world…of pain. Everyone’s favorite fez-sporting vagabond dispatches Jafar’s palace guards via the ancient Arabian technique of jumping on their heads. To add a little flavor, Aladdin can also stun foes with a barrage of deadly…apples. Even though he is pictured on the box wielding a scimitar, he never actually uses one in Capcom’s SNES version of the game. That would be too easy of course, as the sight of a scrawny baggy pants-wearing kid is enough to instill fear in the hearts of those who cross him.

He's one jump ahead of the bread line. They're one jump behind the dead line.

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The Protagonist Party

What would it be like if a bunch of modern video game protagonists got together at a party? Confusing, to say the least.

Hey! Solid Snake, how’s it going?
Nathan Drake! Good to see you, man.
Hi guys. I’m Alan Wake.
Nice to meet you, Alan Wake. I’m Nathan Drake, this is Solid Snake.
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Yo dawg, so I heard you like simulators…

Most games can be called a simulation of some sort. Gran Turismo is touted as the “Real Driving Simulator”; Rock Band simulates being a stage musician; Noby Noby Boy simulates…something.

Then there are games that go deeper (I don’t need to post a screen from Inception because I know you are already thinking it). I’m talking about simulated activities in real life being simulated in a video game. Did I just blow your mind? Stay with me. Video games aren’t the only alternative to doing things we actually want to do but can’t because of financial and/or ethical reasons. But things start to get puzzling when a developer decides to take those activities and turn it into a video game.

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NBA Jam: A true underdog story

We sat down with the original members of the virtual San Antonio Spurs team that delivered one of the most memorable performances in NBA Jam history. What follows is a first-hand account of their extraordinary struggle.

On a cold wintry night in late November, the electricity of the crowd at the Palace of Auburn Hills was palpable.

The 1993 San Antonio Spurs suited up to face their arch-rivals: the unstoppable juggernaut known as the 1993 Detroit Pistons. The two teams had squared off many times in the past, but this night was different. This night—though the Spurs knew they had amassed many statistical victories—was the night the Spurs felt they would truly win.
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Anti-aliasing protest rages on

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Hordes of angry protesters have gathered outside Jagged Realms headquarters in what the media is describing as the most pathetic display of activism in recent history.

“As loyal consumers, we demand that all our games feature 4x full-scene anti-aliasing, 60 frames per second, and 1080p Full HD resolution,” said Brad Symington, spokesperson for the Coalition of Unemployed Neurotic Techies. “Several of our members have suffered myocardial infarctions due to the lack of anti-aliasing in games such as Battlefield: Bad Company 2.”

The Coalition has been petitioning for 3 days straight, and they say they won’t leave until their demands are met.

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